This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You can't motorboat a personality
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
