...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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