I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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