Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
