one two three fourrrrnication!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
