Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
