I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
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she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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