It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
