That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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