I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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