you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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