yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize