Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize