youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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