I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
