What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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