My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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