Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
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He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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