Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize