I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize