Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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