Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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