Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
