Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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