She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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