Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
