dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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