they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
