Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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