Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
