Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
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Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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