whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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