margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
