I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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