he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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