It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize