my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
