do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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