My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize