A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
