Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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