I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
