Dual....:-)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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