i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize