Whod you bang
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize