I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Damn victory sex feels great
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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