Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
