How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize