I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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