I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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