Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize