Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?