Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.