Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me

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  (678): I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me http://tfl.nu/yjun
  Replies (7) Good night (1159) Bad night (2407)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches

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  (618): its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches http://tfl.nu/86sw
  Replies (25) Good night (3670) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle

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  (703): you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle http://tfl.nu/qvl1
  Replies (16) Good night (1210) Bad night (3949)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.

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  (619): I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated. http://tfl.nu/km5l
  Replies (27) Good night (8810) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two

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  (617): I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two http://tfl.nu/3vhn
  Replies (6) Good night (3253) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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  (530): I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will http://tfl.nu/u061
  Replies (4) Good night (3412) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"

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  (440): That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone" http://tfl.nu/gip2
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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  (435): Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender. http://tfl.nu/assa
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?

  (1+61): View more from

  Mobile recharge?

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  (+61): What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls? (1+61): Mobile recharge? http://tfl.nu/wf5a
  Replies (2) Good night (932) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single

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  (615): Vodka tonic time....wish me luck! (1-615): Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single http://tfl.nu/b04m
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.

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  (504): You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men. http://tfl.nu/6nuf
  Replies (8) Good night (1394) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.

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  (915): I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday. http://tfl.nu/5xu3
  Replies (5) Good night (335) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.

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  (251): My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult. http://tfl.nu/4jpl
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.

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  (734): she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love. http://tfl.nu/ybpy
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....

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  (919): It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason.... http://tfl.nu/q7go
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (251)

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