Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

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(757): View more from Virginia

There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

(1-217): View more from Illinois

Don't worry about it.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers

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(856): View more from New Jersey

First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.

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(417): View more from Missouri

How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

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(636): View more from Missouri

She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!

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(843): View more from South Carolina

BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?

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