Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

(678): View more from Georgia

discrete masterbation is a lost art

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(561): View more from Florida

you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic

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(541): View more from Oregon

Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first

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(913): View more from Kansas

When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.

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(631): View more from New York

I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you

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