We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
