Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school

(1-309): View more from Illinois

awkward

(309): View more from Illinois

no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.

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(309): so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school (1-309): awkward (309): no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/y6uz

Replies (12) Good night (1141) Bad night (2676)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.

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(203): It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag. http://tfl.nu/0795

Replies (16) Good night (3679) Bad night (624)
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(740): View more from Ohio

ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

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(740): ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments. http://tfl.nu/bi4c

Replies (11) Good night (4344) Bad night (935)
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(208): View more from Idaho

this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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(208): this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer... http://tfl.nu/pqdq

Replies (16) Good night (1108) Bad night (3185)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??

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(618): Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking?? http://tfl.nu/g7y8

Replies (42) Good night (4620) Bad night (1494)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.

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(908): and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line. http://tfl.nu/n1fc

Replies (10) Good night (4544) Bad night (1463)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home

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(859): #1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home http://tfl.nu/wpbx

Replies (16) Good night (3422) Bad night (1015)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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(812): Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet. http://tfl.nu/ytjh

Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (1782)
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(410): View more from Maryland

My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?

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(410): My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/txqd

Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (869)
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(714): View more from California

You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

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(714): You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/bbnq

Replies (6) Good night (1382) Bad night (627)
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(850): View more from Florida

Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.

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(850): Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made. http://tfl.nu/7051

Replies (5) Good night (1908) Bad night (558)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing

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(208): Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing http://tfl.nu/2w9q

Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (859)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"

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(843): Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty" http://tfl.nu/jvva

Replies (1) Good night (1409) Bad night (415)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.

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(978): We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement. http://tfl.nu/az5f

Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (576)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it

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(843): She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it http://tfl.nu/wpx7

Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (192)

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