I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
