I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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