i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
