Sry I called you an 8
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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