My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
no, he came in my armpit
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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